How does this disease affect your life? It's a hard question to answer really because I have it better than most, I am alive, and I haven't had as many operations as others. But I have lost many things that I considered my passions.
I have always wanted to work with children since I did work experience in year 10 at a private nursery and that set up what I always wanted to do in life. Look after children, children from birth to five.
It was all I wanted to train in, and I did, and I had a long career in childcare from working in private nurseries, Tumble Tots, Childminder to working in a school. I've seen it all, done it all and loved every moment.
At first, I could manage it, I managed it by taking painkillers, by ignoring it at times, if I pretended it wasn't there. When it wasn't diagnosed how could I do anything about it...
But about two years into my job at the school I worked at, I couldn't manage it any more without it affecting my day-to-day life at work.
I had to have more days off work due to not being able to do my job mostly, which is of course running after and playing with the children.
I would come home with sores, abscesses and quite honestly in a lot of pain. This was made worse when it was the time of the month. No matter what sanitary product I used, what make of product I used it irritates my skin, I will get lumps and bumps caused by the friction and by the irritation of wearing one.
Nine times out of ten I would have to take the first couples of days off work during this time to try and stop wounds worsening or literally because I couldn't get out of bed.
Along with my polycystic ovaries I was more out of work than in work.
I finally met a dermatologist who cared about me, about my condition and noticed I had perianal tears and that this was most probably caused by Crohn's disease (this is still undiagnosed, but I am getting towards a diagnosis I hope...)
I had an MRI scan of my stomach, and they found fistulas in my stomach and after that I had to have colonoscopy where I was told I would need an operation to fix the perianal tears, and it was advised I give up work.
At the time I thought it was a load of bullshit, why should I leave my job because of a small operation, I had a 12lb tumour removed from my womb and I could go back to work in twelve weeks, so this was a shock to be told I would have to leave.
But eighteen months after the operation I am still going to GP's and hospitals almost daily to have my dressings changed. The would is still 7 cm long and nearly 14 cm deep. So the surgeon was of course right to say to leave my job.
I miss my profession immensely, I miss working with children and running around like I used to.
I miss playing cricket with them, and they're laughing at me because I didn't hit the ball. Not only that, but I miss running after javelins on sports day that the children threw on purpose just to get me to run after them.
I miss organizing Nativity's and wearing a different Christmas jumper daily, I miss singing the Nativity songs around school from September annoying everyone else.
Above all I just miss the children, as someone who would love children and haven't been blessed with children yet, I treated every child I looked after like my own. I didn't care if they could read, write, recognize letters, I cared about them being happy, coming to school with a smile on their face. I cared about them.
And it's been taken away from me. My friendships at work, my social life, my children, it was snatched away from me.
It was all I had trained for, all I wanted to be and a few sores, a few accesses took away my profession.
But I am now designing, in 2011 while my hours were cut at Tumble Tots I found a hobby, card making. And you know what this past eighteen months is saved me, saved me from utter despair because I now make cards to take my mind off everything.
I have started designing cards myself, using my Photoshop skills to try and design my own bits and I have started my own website, my Etsy shop and a shop to help crafters who have disabilities.
I am hoping to turn this into a business, a proper business, so I can look after my health and have a profession I love again. But time will tell if I am successful.
My website: www.pezzywezziesprezzies.co.uk
My Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/PezzyWezziesPrezzies?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=1046394909
consiouscrafties: https://www.consciouscrafties.com/crafties/pezzywezziesprezzies-store/
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